Common Issues

Depression, fear, and anxiety are some of the most common and uncomfortable emotions that we can experience at some point in our lives. 

Anxiety

Anxiety is more than just feeling stressed or worried.  While stress and anxious feelings are a common response to a situation  where we feel under pressure, they usually pass once the stressful  situation has passed, or ‘stressor’ is removed.

Anxiety is when these anxious feelings don't go away – when they're  ongoing and happen without any particular reason or cause. It’s a  serious condition that makes it hard to cope with daily life. Everyone  feels anxious from time to time, but for someone experiencing  anxiety,  these feelings aren't easily controlled.

Anxiety is the most common mental health condition in Australia. On average, one in four people – one in three women and one in five men– will experience anxiety at some stage in their life. In a 12-month period, over two million Australians experience anxiety.

Anxiety is common, but the sooner people with anxiety get support, the more likely they are to recover.  (Courtesy of Beyond Blue) .

Depression

 While we all feel sad, moody or low from time to time, some people  experience these feelings intensely, for long periods of time (weeks,  months or even years) and sometimes without any apparent reason.  Depression is more than just a low mood – it's a serious condition that  affects your physical and mental health. 

You may be depressed if, for more than two weeks, you've  felt sad, down or miserable most of the time, or have lost interest or  pleasure in usual activities, and have also experienced several of the  signs and symptoms across at least three of the categories below.

It’s  important to remember that we all experience some of these symptoms  from time to time, and it may not necessarily mean you're depressed.  Equally, not everyone who is experiencing depression will have all of  these symptoms.

Behaviours: -

You are not getting things done at work/school/lack concentration

You are withdrawing from family and friends/not doing you usual enjoyable activities

Relying too much on alcohol and sedatives

Feelings:-

You may have feelings of :-

Being overwhelmed, frustrated, irritable of frustrated. You may feel indecisive or lacking in confidence. There may also be feelings of being generally unhappy, disappointment, sad or even miserable.

Thoughts

Your thoughts may say things like, “I’m a failure”, “its all my fault” or “nothing good ever happens to me”. You may have thoughts around worthlessness or that life is not worth living or those around you would be better off without you.

Physical :-

You may be feeling tired all the time, sick and run down. You may have frequent headaches and muscle pain. A churning gut, a loss or change in appetite with significant weight loss or gain. Additionally, there may be sleep problems

(Courtesy of Beyond Blue)

Through counselling and treatment, I am able to help you recover motivation, perspective and happiness that you once had in your life.

 Stress is often defined as a bodily response to the  demands of life. But there are also emotional and mental aspects of  stress.   Few people will deny they have been stressed at least once in their  life. But for many, stress can be ongoing and unbearable. Chronic stress  can contribute to numerous mental health and physical health issues  It is experienced as thoughts and feelings as well as in the  body. Another way to define stress could be as an internal and  conditioned response to external pressures. 

Mental health professionals often help people reduce and manage their  stress. They can also help people work through other mental health  issues that have developed while coping with high levels of stress over a  period of time.

Some individuals can experience symptoms associated with painful and traumatic circumstances. Anxiety, fear, hopelessness  and perhaps unexplained anger are a few emotions that can linger post traumatic events. I can help you overcome these symptoms and guide you through the process of  healing.

Grief and loss take many forms. One of the most significant traumas that anyone can ever experience is the death of a loved one. Yet grieving and loss may also accompany the loss of a job, a cherished relationship or friendship, the death of a pet, or a life-altering event such as injury, fertility issues or menopause, illness, and moving house or even countries.

Grief and loss are deeply personal experiences that may be felt and expressed in different ways. In grief, it is common to feel completely alone, and that no-one can understand the depth of your pain. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. However grief affects you, counselling is a safe and supportive way to effectively process your grief, come to terms with your loss, and find ways to cope in drastically changed life circumstances.

 

Grief often presents itself in unusual and even disturbing ways. This presentation may dominate other emotions, leaving you feeling emotionally drained, and/or fixated on a certain train of thought.

Some common emotional responses to grief include:

• Anger
• Anxiety
• Changes in appetite
• Depression
• Disrupted sleep patterns
• Guilt
• Helplessness
• Hopelessness
• Loneliness
• Loss of concentration
• Mood swings/constant tearfulness
• No interest in daily life
• Numbness
• Remorse
• Sadness
• Shock

These grief-related feelings, thoughts and behaviours can seriously affect your capacity to function in daily life.  If grief is impacting your ability to function daily  and is starting to concern you, grief counselling can be crucial to the healing process, as it explores and addresses your personal needs at your own pace. It is important to spend any time grieving by focusing on yourself, and clarifying what you need to feel supported in the present moment. 

Making the choice to go to couples counselling  can feel like a very big step. It involves admitting that things are not perfect in your partnership, which is often tough to do and scary to admit. And if you are not particularly familiar with what therapy is all about, it can feel mysterious and confusing.  Often, the idea of seeing a marriage or couples therapist sits on the back burner, with one or both parties thinking that it may be a good idea, but also feeling unsure of how to proceed — and of whether their specific problems can really be helped. Here are some of the more common issues that many couples face, have you, or are you dealing with any of these situations?

Trust has been broken.

Arguments are getting more frequent

Communication is poor.- you may constantly feel misunderstood or ignored, or maybe you feel like you don't even have a good idea of what is happening with your partner emotionally as of late; he or she might as well be a stranger.

Something definitely feels wrong, but you're not sure what or why -sometimes couples therapy is useful not only for solving problems, but also for identifying them.

There is something you want your partner to know, but you've been unable to tell them.  Sometimes the beauty of counselling starts with the room itself: It can become a safe and supportive place for you to bring up things that are difficult to talk about in other settings. A trained professional with a warm presence can often help you overcome your fears of sharing something with your partner. 

One or both of you becomes dysfunctional during a conflict. -Maybe you or your partner shuts down, lashes out, or gets vengeful or passive-aggressive.

You have gone through something devastating that is changing the way you connect with each other.  Sometimes the cruel double-whammy of a setback in life is that it's not just the setback itself that hurts, but also the effect it has on a marriage or partnership

You feel stuck in bad patterns.  There is no limit to the number of patterns that partners develop in day-to-day life, from how and when they eat and, to how much time they spend apart or with others, to who handles various household chores, to how they interact with each other's families,

Emotional intimacy is gone or deeply diminished. Does it feel like the "spark" is gone after spending a decade or more together, and that you are more roommates than soul mates. Sometimes this is just because the grind of daily life has begun to over -shadow your ability to connect, and it's simply a matter of re-prioritizing.

Physical intimacy is a problem.  Sexual issues can be both a symptom and a cause of relationship problems, which means it is often at the forefront of a couple's day-to-day complaints. 

Couples counselling at Tranquil Minds aims to, though utilising the Gottman Method, help couples strengthen their relationships in three primary areas: friendship, conflict management, and creation of shared meaning.  The goals of the Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication, increase intimacy, respect, and affection, remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy in conflicting situations, and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.

The Gottman Method is an approach to couples therapy that includes a thorough assessment of the couple relationship and integrates research-based interventions based on the Sound Relationship House Theory. The Gottman Method is designed to support couples across all economic, racial, sexual orientation, and cultural sectors. Belinda at Tranquil Minds is very happy and able to answer any questions you may have about couples therapy and if it is right for you.